


Thwarting Via Letter

by Lady of Prompts (Aethelflaed)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Epistolary, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Letters, M/M, Short, Short & Sweet, Temptation, There's Only One Bed What Shall We Do?, pre-revolutionary France, thwarting wiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25366981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aethelflaed/pseuds/Lady%20of%20Prompts
Summary: When word comes to Aziraphale that Crowley is making trouble in France (without him!) he has no choice but to thwart his wily nemesis - via carefully crafted letter!(Written in a Do-It-With-Style server prompt sprint, for the prompt "Letters")
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 92
Collections: GO-DIWS Prompt Sprints





	Thwarting Via Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another feral prompt fic courtesy of the Do-It-With-Style Discord server - the whole fic written in the space of 20 minutes based on the prompt "Letters" (although Under-the-Linden-Tree did suggest I write "Thwarting Via Letter" and how could I resist?). I'm not sure where, exactly, this letter fits into the timeline, but it's just a bit of fun.
> 
> (Some minor edits made after the initial 20 minutes.)

My Dear Crowley,

It has come to my attention that you are currently  _ not,  _ in fact, over in France on a simple holiday as previously suggested, but are currently inveigling your way into the Court of Versailles. I know you must have some truly devious, dastardly plan in place, as you have been over there for three months now, and rumors are even beginning to circulate here in London.

In fact, your recent activities have gone so far as to attract the notice of certain mutual acquaintances of ours from my head office, who are very adamant that I find a way to stop you.

This, of course, is out of the question, as I have finally managed to locate the perfect piece of property for that business venture I mentioned when last we spoke. A charming little two-storey building located in the heart of Soho. You may think me somewhat hasty, as I have yet to determine in what way I will proceed henceforth, but I have begun the rather long and arduous task of convincing the current owners to vacate and sell the property to me.

As you can imagine, it is quite the delicate venture. I have been told that they will not relinquish it for any amount of money, and believe me, I have offered quite a sum and hinted at a great deal more. I have, unfortunately, been forced to consider other encouragements. Most recently, I have begun secreting heads of cheese into hidden locations and the first is, after several weeks of waiting, now producing the desired odor. It was no small matter to ensure that the cheeses will not be found, no matter how the owners search, but I do believe they will be more pliable when next I come to call.

So you can see why it is absolutely  _ vital _ that I remain here in London. This work simply cannot be interrupted for a jaunt to the palaces and courts of France, no matter how you try to tempt me. Certainly, I could find a way to speed up the process. For example, I am certain that if I had access to a rather large number of rats, I could convince the owners to vacate in a matter of hours. Sadly, as you are well aware, I have no such connection to the animals of the city, and am forced to make do.

However, I take heart that the task is nearly complete! I have, I confess, already begun gathering provisions to help me celebrate. I have several bottles of wine, though I am sure you will tell me they are nothing compared to what you have drunk in Versailles. I certainly wish I had a few bottles for comparison. I have also acquired a sofa and a few chairs in order to entertain guests, as this location will be my home as much as my place of business.

There is, indeed, a small apartment on the upper storey. I have not quite determined what I shall do with the space, but I have already acquired quite a large and comfortable bed. As I do not sleep, I am not sure what it shall be used for; I do wish I had someone here to advise me.

In any case, Crowley, as you can plainly see, I am quite unable to join you in Versailles. I hope you enjoy the trouble you are causing in France, and spare a thought now and then to your dear companion back in London; to what he must be getting up to without you; and to how he sits alone each night in his newly-purchased property (God willing!) as you gallivant across the continent.

I suppose I shall see you in several years, and more’s the pity.

But until then, I remain,

Your friend,

Aziraphale

PS – If you should happen to change your mind, do swing by Brittany for some crepes on the way, there’s a good chap.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm not sure if we're looking at Very-Thirsty-Bastard-Aziraphale or Thirsty-Crowley-and-Aziraphale's-Just-Enough-Of-A-Bastard-To-Take-Advantage-of-That (or both? both is good), but either way - thirst and bastard!
> 
> It's also up to you to decide if this was weeks, months, or even years before the 1789 scene, how successful Aziraphale was, and what exactly the relationship was between this letter and his eventual appearance in the Bastille with a craving for crepes and his shiniest shoes...
> 
> Hope this made you smile!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Thwarting Via Letter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505778) by [Djapchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djapchan/pseuds/Djapchan)




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